Days 16-17

Intention:Worthy
I am worthy not because of what I do but because of who and whose I am. I take the time over the next two days to note my worthiness. To step up and stand up for the things that I want. To use my voice to call things into existence. I make it a point reaffirm my worth starting today.

Because I was made in God’s flawless image, I am worthy. Because God loves me unconditionally, I am worthy. I was born worthy through God’s perfection. This day and everyday I will act on my worthiness. It is so.

Manifestation: So I attended a wedding last night of one of my close friends from high school. I was hesitant to go at first because, although I knew people who were going to be at the wedding, I thought I was going to be uncomfortable. I love Alanna and I love her family and all of my other close friends that were in the wedding and in attendance. But my problem wasn’t with them, it was with myself. So that was where the hesitation came from. I guess it has to deal with my uncertainty about my life and how they seemingly have it all figured out. Even though my rational mind knows that it’s not true, I still doubt myself because of it. I had to remind myself constantly of my worth as a person and a physical manifestation of God. So I went and I had the time of my life. Of course I started getting emotional at the site of Alanna and her new husband, they love each other so much. And it is so beautiful and I’m so happy for them. But I realized that I am worthy of all of that and more. I’m worthy of a partnership with a person who is more than capable, able, and willing. I deserve and am worthy of a dynamic, accomplished, loving, devoted and attractive partner. My focus has far too much been on the lack of such a person but no more. I am worthy and I make it so, it is so! God is SO good!

So tonight we went out with a couple of people I met at the wedding. A couple young men that have been friends with Alanna since she was born. One thing I love about people who have roots in African nations is that they maintain ties to each other. They create clans, not just friendships but families with people, they create kinships. It’s so beautiful to see people calling each other family when there are no blood ties. People flew across the country and the world just to partake in the wedding.  It was beautiful.  So I invited some of the younger people who weren’t familiar with Detroit out for a night on the town. I don’t think I’ve ever partied so hard! (Well, maybe!) But anyway we had a wonderful time. One thing I wasn’t so happy with though was that a friend of mine who knew what the night was about (hanging out ’till the sun came up) decided to bail on us. Now the problem wasn’t with the fact that she wanted to leave, my problem was with this being a constant thing with her. She’ll commit to something and then later decide she doesn’t want to go through with it, basically dragging the night down for the people involved. True that is her prerogative, however it’s mine to associate with the people I want to . I guess my problem with the whole thing is that in my close friends I’m looking for committed, trustworthy people. I’m seeking real sisterhood, much like the relationships I saw at the wedding. Friends that you can call at a moments notice and they’ll come to wherever you are to assist you. Not only do I want friends like that, I want to be a friend like that to other people. I am worthy of having supportive people in my life who, as my pastor would say, are my kinda crazy. Women who may not be like me, but who love me and accept me as I am, and are ‘ride-or-die.’ Down for me when I need them the most and when I don’t need them the most. Women who know how to have a good time and are comfortable with who there are. Classy, crazy, fun, reactive, confident, supportive, outgoing, flamboyant, trend-setting superstars! This is the intention that I set forth this upcoming week: I will attract to me real sisterhood in the form of women that are my kind of crazy, who are ride-or-die, and that I create long-lasting real friendships with. I am creating my clan, that will passed down throughout our lineages. It is SO! God is SO good!